I take care of our children and cater for all our upkeep. He just drinks. PHOTO| FILE |NATION MEDIA GROUP
Q: My husband started drinking some weeks after our
honeymoon and now it has become a habit that has really affected our
marriage. I keep telling myself that he will change but he has gotten
worse. I take care of our children and cater for all our upkeep. He just
drinks. I have now developed stomach ulcers. I’m usually a quiet person
and I have not shared this with any of our family members. I don’t know
where to start, so I always act like everything is okay with my family.
I am not happy at all and I must leave my husband now before it really
affects my kids. I have tried and tried to make my marriage work. What
do I do? How do I start?
A: Thank you for
your question. It is sad that you have stayed in a stressful marriage
for that long, considering that your husband started being irresponsible
right from the start. You have even developed ulcers due to stress.
Now,
you must look for a way to cater for your health and your children. It
seems like you have taken on your husband’s problems.
However
you have enough of your own problems, not to mention the fact that you
also have to look after your kids. The first thing is to accept that
there is a big problem in your marriage and that it is beyond you. With
this in mind, make a decision to share with trusted family members and
friends. Look, you have been living in your own cocoon, afraid to talk
about your marriage for the sake of its reputation. What reputation? In
any case your marriage is not working and the hard truth is it is
heading badly south.
It is therefore important that
you look for a way to get any form of support from the people around
you. You may also consider visiting a counsellor. Through a family
mediator, you may consider talking to your husband concerning his
behaviour and how it is taking a toll in your marriage and children.
If
he promises to change, then you can give him a chance. If he does not,
please know that it is impossible to live in a marriage where one
partner is not interested.
Yes, you are tired of your
marriage and leaving your husband will be really difficult – but, the
most difficult things in life are the ones that are most worthwhile.
My best wishes.
No comments:
Post a Comment